down and out

i trained hard for many months. dedicated my time to trainings 6 days a week. make sure i eat well, rest well, recover well and improve.

throughout my short life span of being an endurance athlete, i have been a dedicated and disciplined one. i rarely miss a single training and i always watch my diet which i feel is very important for performance. i know i am not the fastest, but doing endurance sports and excelling in it my own way just gives me a satisfaction i never had before.

i saw a drop in my 10k timing from a 58 + minutes last Oct to last recorded in May of 43 minutes.. i witness my marathon timing downsize from a 4:43 to a 4:04 in 6 months. and i did my first Olympic Distance triathlon in 2hr 38 mins. for me personally, i feel it's a great achievement on my own accord. i know, compared to many others, this is just average timing. yet every seconds of deduction from my personal best makes me elated.

this whole week has been a roller coaster ride for me. last week, during training, i had to limp off the track. my left leg, which already has been bugging me for weeks, finally gave up. on the train home, i was just staring into blank space. spaced out. i can feel the weakness in my left leg. its slow "moaning" and appeal for help which i ignored in order to train.

all that i was, was a crippled man sitting down with my hands on my left leg, trying to massage it and hope it will regain its strength. miracle didn't happened.. it didn't came back.

went to Hallmark physio at Thomson as recommended by Dennis who went there due to injury the day before. i felt so weak and helpless as he examined me. straight away, both of us knew where the problem was.. my right leg could lift almost 90 degrees up when i am lying down.. but my left.. hardly even.. 70% of that..

he said i got a strained hamstring and calf. i gotta stop any training INDEFINITELY. that word etched deep inside my mind.

can this mean it's serious? can i ever run again?

treatment followed. ultrasound and some electrocution. and some deep tissue massage which was probably the worst i ever had. i screamed into the pillow. yes. screamed. not shouted or yell. screamed like a little girl.

i missed Tuesday swim class as advised.missed Wednesday run training. didn't cycle.

went to Dr Janelle, my chiro. she examined me. commented my left tendons are way too tight as compared to my right. and my left knee is misaligned.

this didn't feel good.

she advise me to not train too. not even swim unless i dun kick.

with IVP, Osim Corporate tri and the final hooha Standard Chartered Marathon lined up, i dunno what to feel. the expectations i had of myself.. may just disappear..

will a 3:45 still be possible? will i recover in time... or will i ever recover? i maybe over exaggerating things as some might think.. but.. it's not impossible...

how could this happen to me?